I chose to be like Penelope …

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… when I was a little girl,

impressed

by her strength

and the knowledge of her own heart

that she knew

for sure

that Odysseus would come back to her

no doubt 

despite the twenty years and manifest fears

prowling in her castle’s hall

trying to clutch her soul, her queendom,

her husband’s, king’s and lover’s kingdom

she chose the best of all

there was only love for her (second best would be: no love at all)

a choice, decision, lifetime task

she was Penelope, the queen

and even though Odysseus

on his journey

was stricken by several other women

(entrancing each one, for sure)

who desired him to be their man

his true desire was so strong

that he remembered

his Penelope

and that he himself

belonged to her

by free will

because of his heart’s advice

and so he came back home again

and fought to be

his queen’s heart king 

***

Oh I was just a little girl

  (about nine, ten or eleven)

so very naive 

seeing or merely inventing that

I could not KNOW then

anything about adult’s love

but this was what I BELIEVED to be

true and grown up love

***

this faith

was my light in dark night

and still is 

I just realized

I just remembered

And now I understand

myself a bit better again

and why I love the way I do

deceit

was never an option

when true love

is concerned

***

mind you

I was a little girl

(about nine, ten or eleven)

dreaming

could I know 

anything

then?

***

Oh, you can now

laugh at, about me

and shake your head

and call me childish

but the way we understood love when children

tells us

why we love

at all

***

as a child

you think 

with your heart

and your mind

is still clear

still unmingled

***

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